Night Speech

About life, about our differences. About last night. We had a conversation in which u were right and I was a liar. I didnt mean to lie you, I wanted to lie myself, believe a paper that I need to be to keep you by my side, to keep you speaking with me quite often, day by day, to you dont forget me. I feel sorry but I cant confess to you that Im still feeling for you, but you know it. So I will keep like your nice and good friend, sending pics, making jokes, arguing about life, feeling for our families. Till that day, the day you will find the girl, that girl of your dreams, that girl I wanted to be for you, that girl I started to change myself when I met you. My mind went from down so high and I just miss lots of moments with you. You will say, oh you are so girly, yea you are right, I am (a girl). So when this day arrives, I will just drop so down and deep that I dont think onyone could help me again, as you did once. And thank you because I even couldnt walk out of my house before meeting you, because my smile with my friends was so fake. I didnt find any reason in life, but you. You know, girly stuff, girly thoughts, girly feelings. By the way, dont let me go, I mean, I can stay as your friend I dont mind, Im feeling kind of your friend ''S''. Living like her. So sweety, after this, just wanted to clarify that yea you are right but I have my good reasons, hope you will understand because I dont want you to stop speaking with me or sending me pics from time to time, or videos. And yea, unblock me from fb at some point. You as well did right but if I am girly you are childish doing that. You already told me how things work now, and I know it in my brain, but you know, I have a stupid organ in my chest. So, about last night we wont sleep in the same bed anymore, and you prefer sleeping on the floor rather than in a bed with me, and if I am naked you will cover me with my clothes. I get it. Sadly. And then after all this, you go and say that when we were WE properly, it was just thing of 'a night' and you are going to call it like that. Really? I think is not fair calling it a night when it was six months of going and coming. And Im sure that feelings for both of us went a bit far, mine more than yours but yours as well. Or your eyes were playing with me. And now I am like a sister for you. I know how you appreciate you sisters and you help them a lot. So for me you telling that is something good.Even just for the fact I can hug you and trust you. - David, tell me about that girls or girl... -She is close to granada, she is a nurse. But now she is back to spain to finish her study. - wtf, so she wasnt a nurse? -yea yea she is. But she wants to work with children. - ok. r u kidding me? -no. why? - nothing. ok. so when did u meet her? -I am serious. Quite a while ago now. She is a bit crazy. - mate is only three months I went from there!! wtf is being this? -she is quite jealousy as well. ....................................................................................................................................................................................... - ok. if you liked her, why didnt you tell her to stay with you? to find other way to do what she wants to do? there in uk, with you. -'I wanted her to do what she exactly wanted to, just to feel right'. 'I didnt feel that attached for her'. 'I realized she wasnt for me'. 'We are too different'. 'I wanted her to be happy'. - Probably she wanted you to ask that. Probably she was expecting something else from you. Probably she was broken, and couldnt give more of herself without being sure. Probably she was so confused that didnt know what was true or false. -'Now is late for everything'. - Or maybe never is late for this. Dreamer. Dreams, are not real, they are died. - But you need to let me go 100%, otherwise it is not gonna work. I remember you telling me in a coffee shop, taking tea or coffee or both, you wanted me to hate you, because you werent right. From time to time I hate you, but just because of the fact I would like it to finish in other way, that wrong end... keep falling.