You

Why are you the last person I want to dissapear from this world even when you are not in my life? I can expend weeks without knowing about you while I keep my mind inside of light stuff. These days, planning to see you in a bit more of one week, we are talking oftener than usual, so I am going back to where I was before, missing you and asking myself stupids questions, cheating around your new friends, old friends, old pics with old comments, girls and more girls around... You know me, I am always going to be that jealous girl who want to be sure of everything and ask you stupid questions because of my overthinker brain. But as I get closer to you, I can see how you go away, and then, in a couple of days, you give me some excuse like you were busy with some stuff, tho it is never a girl... What about the day you are gonna tell me you have found that girl?... And the wedding? omg, hope I am first, you broke already my heart when you stop talking me for a couple of months... I dont know where we are, well yes, as we talk, we are friends... lets see those day that are coming closer, and then again, going far, and at least other six months. And I have such stupid hope on you, I dont want to give up, I am trying, but I can see next summer trying to forget all my past, all those days that are going from february. I came back in a different person, probably because of you. I am kinda of better at home, but I feel so lonely... My friends cant understand me and every month I loose one of them, they give up, cant see, cant think, cant believe who I am, how I am... I cant move, so every month I keep inside my room more time, I expend time writing and drawing, and mostly thinking and listening to music. Am I still real? I thought to be a writer, designer... I have tidied up all my room, throwed away lot of shit. I had shit from 2008 dude. All gone now. It was mostly papper work, books of studies, notes, doddles... My sick brain... Even I have been asked myself if I need treatmen, Am I ill? idk. You know what I know... You know how I think... But I am guessing to myself, do I know you? or you were playing all the time this game to manage with me? Am I stupid to go there? I dont know what I am doing, what we are doing with this and your funny shower and your alright size room but no the biggest but you dont complaint at all... Anyway, nevermind, keep giving a shit of everything, it is good, you are good, and all alright.